Kylie's Birth Story

I realized I never really told Kylie's birth story even though I wrote it all out shortly after her arrival. This is a long post with plenty of pictures so only the most inquiring of minds will want to read on. I have edited it some so hopefully nobody is offended and even a guy could read it without blushing.

Kylie’s Labor and Birth Story

February 14^th, 2008

My disclaimer to our story is that although homebirth was right for us, we realize this option cannot work for everybody. Of course we thought it was best, but it was best for us, not every family. There is a place and time for doctors and hospitals, but not in an uncomplicated and healthy pregnancy and delivery.

Present at the birth were: Jonathan, Katie Sandell (midwife), Anne Pilley (doula) and Anna Bailey (friend).

Anna

It all began about mid-afternoon on Wednesday, February 13^th. I could feel contractions, but remained busy nesting and would vacuum and clean through each one. My good friend Katie (not to be confused later with Katie the midwife!) had called earlier in the day to see if I could help her pick out glasses around 4pm. I called her and said, “I think I’m in labor, but I’ll try to come help you anyway.” I did end up going and she just laughed that I came despite the circumstances. By dinner time they were starting to intensify a bit and clued me in that this would be the real thing. I filled Jonathan in when he came home from work and also decided to call the midwife. She patiently listened to what I had to say and replied with, “Sounds good, I’m going out to dinner with my husband and will check back with you in a couple of hours.” Meanwhile, we began preparing the front living room by moving furniture around and setting up the tub and bed area. After some arranging and rearranging, things were in order and up to par for the mom and dad to be.

The room was really dim with lots of candles burning.

Katie called back around 7:30-8:00pm and said it sounded like things were moving along beautifully and I was on my way to a baby. After giving each of us plenty of instructions (Jonathan for filling the tub, comforting me, and sleeping as much as possible; me for letting each contraction do its work), she said we can call her when we felt it was time for her to come. At first, I’m thinking, “Are you nuts, come now!”, but quickly realized we were in control of this process and would do what felt right. And that is just how things continued to happen.

Laboring on the ball and midwife checking baby's heartrate/timing contractions

I labored on the exercise ball for quite a while and watched Grumpier Old Men while letting each contraction come and go (for some reason this movie just wasn't as funny for me this time!). As it came time for bed, it was apparent I would not be getting much, if any sleep. After briefly attempting to stay in bed with Jon, I ended up going down to the bed we’d set up for the birth. I was almost able to doze between contractions, but they were just close enough together to keep me up. Jon slept for a couple hours, but woke up around 1am to hear me. He came down and we worked through several contractions together. At about 2am I decided it was time for him to call Katie as the contractions felt as though they were almost on top of each other. She made another assessment over the phone with him and said she’d be over shortly. Upon arrival, she watched/listened to me through several contractions and checked baby’s heart rate. After a short while, she checked me and I was dilated to 5 (and almost completely effaced) which gave me sweet relief. Had I been only a 2 or 3, I was wondering how I could ever get all the way to the end.

I continued to labor, much of the time on the toilet or trying to walk around. Katie also had me try lunges using Jon as a guide which really just made me crabbier and they didn’t seem to help me much. Katie was also pushing the food and liquids, but after throwing up for the 5^th time, I put the kibosh on eating and said I was done. I could hold water alone down, but not if I mixed it with anything else. I got in the tub at some point and that was awesome. Considered by some to be the "midwife's epidural" to which I absolutely agree! In fact, it relaxed me a bit too much, slowed down labor, and I was coaxed back out to get the baby moving again.

My favorite place to be!

After a while, I was in such great pain I didn’t know if I could continue anymore. Around 5am, I was checked again and found to be at a 7. This surprised me and I was completely bummed out that I wasn’t further along. The contractions were getting even stronger and were wringing through my entire body. It took everybody’s coaxing to get me to relax at all and just let the contractions come and do their work. I heard Katie call Anne (the doula) at that point and tell her I was in transition and it was time for her to come. I thought, “Oh sweet, transition, I’m going to have a baby soon.” Well, that wasn’t the case as Kylie wasn’t born until much later! Transition was by far the worst thing I’ve ever been through. I asked to get back in the tub at this point and thankfully, my request was met. The water provided as much relief as I was going to get at this point.

Pushing Kylie out took about an hour and a lot of energy, but it simply wasn’t as painful as the transition dilation between 7 and 10. Pushing also gave me a sense of control and something I could accomplish as I could feel her moving along, slowly, but surely. Nobody had to tell me when to push or rest; my body and Kylie did that for me. Katie later said she could see by my face that I could feel Kylie moving down and getting ready to come out. We also found out later that Kylie had shoulder dystocia, meaning her shoulder was stuck and she wasn’t coming out. I later realized that was why the midwife calmly had me switch positions after which Kylie made her peaceful entry (and yes, in the water). She also had a long umbilical cord that was wrapped around her neck and arm, but that quickly got untangled and she was fine. Kylie’s heart rate stayed consistent and healthy throughout the labor and delivery process. Katie kept saying “the baby is happy” each time she checked.

The moment Kylie came out was the best and most rewarding feeling I’ve ever experienced. Anna was the one who announced that we had a girl. I immediately began forgetting how traumatic the labor was and knew I could do it again for such a reward at the end! Kylie was immediately placed on me so we could enjoy her. I held her for a bit, but then placed her back in the water on her back where she quit crying and relaxed. It was a very peaceful time to watch her lay in the water and feel like she was back in a familiar environment. After Jon and I got acquainted with Kylie a bit, Katie took her to do the infant exam and I was assisted out of the tub to be attended to. After all that was done, Kylie joined me on the bed.

Proud daddy

This is how babies are weighed at home...basically a fish scale:-)

Katie, Anne, and Anna all took part in cleaning up and taking care of me (got me food and juice, started laundry, and drained the tub). They were all gone by about 11:30am and we were left to enjoy each other as a new family. We all took a nap together and just relaxed! We even waited to call and share the news until we had enjoyed it and rested a bit.

Jonathan and I would not change anything about the day and have intentions of doing any future births the same way. We felt comfortable, relaxed, and very well taken care of. Having our baby at home was much less about having a “drug-free” birth and more about being empowered to make many of our own decisions. Labor and birth is not a disease or emergency and we didn’t feel it should be treated as such.

Kylie was a healthy girl, born at 9:03am and weighing 8lbs. 14oz. and was 21” long.

Us and Katie the midwife